L; Thursday, July 29, 2004 ♥
My life is always a plain one ever since when I was young. When I entered sec 1, I mixed with the wrong gang of people because I am easily influenced and also easily bullied. A lucky thing is that they do not give me punches, I can thank god or my beloved lord Buddha for giving me this protection of not getting hurt. Thinking back, the best times that i even had was during my sec 2.
I remember that year, we played and also strive hard to pass our exams and also our class are very united. After sec 2, ever since this class broke out after that, my lifestyle changes a bit. It changes more and worst from the first ones that i encounter during my sec 1 and 2. Life changes then, maybe in a new class with new people, so might be more quiet. As time passes, i feels that i know them more so be more open to them. It came out that i had not make a single movement because i am somehow a puppet of a person in my class that i hated most.
From then, i feel like killing that person, it is either he die or i die. Like some sort of drama serials but it is true at that time because i can't stand that pressure. I often have to go find counsellor for help as i simply cannot take that particular environment. It totally stress me out, tired of living and also cannot handle my temper. End up always venting my anger at home to my parents. *sigh* it is a bad experience after all.
Then on the next following year, it seems quite alright for me but on the first or second day, i was being tolded off by my teacher for ill treating a gal who just dropped from another class to ours. Is it a joke??? I bet it is not, after this incident, the whole class looked at me. I am usually the helpful one, when did the hell it turned out that i bully my classmates? As the matter of fact, i am always a guy who do not know what is right and good for me, everytime follow people do things blindly ending up, i am the person who is always being hate down to the core. Just don't know why is it so that i am always being hated.
There is only one time where i got my situation changed is when my leg was fractured the other time. My left leg was in it the other time, those who went along with me when i got this incident laughed and said why such a small lump can be in such a big mess? From then i realise somethings in life i must try taking care of myself before it is too late. This such a good atmosphere period only lasted for around two to three months and it started back to the worst again.
To be continued......
don't you dare un'L' me.
never.
rooting for
DEATHNOTE no matter what.
look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Thursday, July 29, 2004]
