L; Tuesday, December 16, 2008 ♥
At this time of the night, most people are snoring their way to lala land, while i am still struggling a way out to sleep. Why? in my mind i have a few thoughts.
Juz now i went to visit my godma in hospital, who is my grandaunt in the past now my godma. SO at the same time i met my cousin. She was asking if i got a gf, den i told her, i dun have gf, waiting for u to intro mi. Den she say, mine are too old for u le lar....
Den i tell her, u muz be glad that i din find myself a bf. SHe say, dun make your mother sad leh. I was thinking, which is my true self? gay bi or straight
i am now plainly a confused guy out in the air, now a confused wondering if in future am i still a confused guy? my answer is a yes and a no. No as in i am not a confused guy but yes to i know so much but still i dunno which i belong to or wanna go.
Haiz... enough of such tragedy, think i had enough of it le lar.. hopefully 2009 is not as bad as 2008 although i got a veri strong feeling that things will re-enact once again in 2009.
Theme for this post: Are u the giving party or receiving party?
Recently i have received lots and lots of lectures, sermons or even dharma talks about this topic. So i had been the giving out party which result myself in getting hurt. Actually not really hurt or scars lar. juz on a positive pt of view, it is something i have to pick up as i walk along this path towards end of life pace.
End of life is where everything comes to an end, an ending that will embrace all memories into your head.
Like a very recently notice of some guy who juz passed away. When i went thru further, it happens that i had browse thru his facebook or friendster few mths back. As i went thru further, he seems to leave a very good impression as a benchmark in everybody that he knows or get in contact and now. He is gone, but i think he had left behind a fruitful memries to all his friends.
I may feel sad for his parents, his life in this world to be so short, but i won't feel sad for his memories left behind. I wish to be like him, who is someone who leaves behind a glamourous picture for his friends. May u guys carry on his life in this world with all the memories, so that his pureland will be built for u guys alternatively with good blessings for them.
Mr Dwayne, i may not know u directly but i do know that u are one of RP students same back as mi. I saw u a few times i did browse thru your friendster. Though life is short but i do hope that there is one wish i hope to fulfill in this life. That is to create a paradise of bliss in this life so that i can be happy with the people i know i want to be with and friends that i know from monastries, temple or churches. Good pals that guided me along the way. I dun wish to lose them in any form. To u, i wish to know u in paradise. Land of bliss, i'm sure u already found your way there. 49 days, bear with it. It will be over soon. I will meet u there some day... Dharma buddies lifetime after lifetime, can it be done?
don't you dare un'L' me.
never.
rooting for
DEATHNOTE no matter what.
look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Tuesday, December 16, 2008]
L; Sunday, December 14, 2008 ♥
So long that i last blogged. Anyway, this time to cut it short, everything was fine over the days and weeks. Everything is in track so far, hope to maintain it this way and pls no more waves that will destroy or struck my life with a heavy blow. PLS realli have to kneel down in robes and chant hard to make things go smoothly.
To share with u guys on one theology, in order to bring a msg to your dearest ppl's heart, u guys can go to the seaside to do this test. When u hear the sound of the waves, focus on it, mind think of who u hate or love. den you shout it out. Eventually or miraculously that this msg will den be transported or flow into their minds, hearts and souls.
How true is true, u guys go try out and tell mi bah....
So work life, personal life, relationship or companionship time is getting better. I dun feel so depressive as before, cuz after a week of hard work, time to relax is to see ppl whom u are happy to meet up with. So i am happy to meet up with them, i feel so relaxed instead of feeling so stressed or lonely. If i am able accept them, they shld be able to do it the same way. OKay fair enough for them to correct the bad side of mi. I am veri open and accepted it with an open heart.
No more religious views, i genna bombarded... So no pt... juz stay with my love with metta and acceptance of all religion as it is. no pt changing their components to suits mi...
next 2 weeks will be x'mas and new yr, next mth will be CNY... sianz ah, 2008 is ending and 2009 is starting, i dun wanna see things happening once again....
don't you dare un'L' me.
never.
rooting for
DEATHNOTE no matter what.
look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Sunday, December 14, 2008]
