L; Thursday, July 31, 2008 ♥

Now got about 3 things running in my mind. Tomorrow's interview with Horiba Instruments, thats 1. Thinking of L, that's 2. Thinking of how to communicate with my family, that's 3. I am in a very difficult position to make them all run 3 parallel paths.

Why must my family come into the picture of not understanding why am i doing for the sake of my work? Why can't they juz work in accordance to my dreams? Which can be done in reality. Why am i forcing myself to go along with the trend where i dun even have the urge to go according to the trend?

My mother asked me to go study, but does she knows that the time and money spend on study is so expensive? That i might as well go and gain experience, at the same time earn money, den 1 to 2yrs time, i can go study at my own ease.

I got this stupid mindset of mine, but maybe will discuss with him first den i will choose to publish here or not. It is still a matter of our privacy, think the more it goes around, the more the stories will create from there. Think for once, i shall create a life, a new one which can bring laughter to everyone.

The current one shall vanish slowly from everybody's impression of me from the past. Becuz of someone, for myself as well as others. Yes he is correct. For once can i be normal of what i am doing ma? Dun always say that i scared of this this that that. Juz open myself up. Remember Colin, I am not walking alone. No one will bear to see me in this depressed state. Nobody likes me to be depressed.

When people are depressed, looking down or lost of where they are standing, i will always try my best to make them stand up, advise them or what. BUt when i am depressed, people will try to make mi think, but i juz dun realli make use of my mind lo. I find myself so useless or stubborn. Perhaps stubborn in a sense that, what people say to me, i would not take advice but think i beginning to change from the hunting process. As in from there i try not to be so aggressive or frank with what they are employing or offering. Hopefully i will improvise myself till no one remember how come is like in the past.

I will start to take advice for a start that can be accomplised from my level of doing. So keep your tags coming into my box as i will see it at least once a day one hor...

L; Monday, July 28, 2008 ♥

I hope that people understand that certain things i dun allow them to know is becuz of some personal privacy around us. Things are going well, those who are close to mi, i should have updated them thru msn.

For the rest to know, please wait till things stable down a lot first, den see if there is a need to publish out.

BUT now is that i feel so lost in my work. I still unable to get one. Why is it so? Am I too resistant or lack of knowledge in self presentation. Why must some employers still seek for others options or candidates before they choose me? I feel that myself is so useless. Suddenly out of no where, i feel so deprived by all these hunting of jobs. Went to almost 10 interviews le, wonder am i too fussy over jobs or the requirements i am not up to it. Or I am just too frank in the interview. I do need to tone down in the subsequent interviews. I am really tired of going to interviews le.

I really want to cry cry cry my hearts out for the moment. Every time i think of him, i feel like crying out. Why? Becuz i feels that i am weak. BUT still i have to stand up and look at the road ahead of me. Long way to walk.

I remember this song.
I AM LONG LONG AWAY FROM HOME, AND I MISS MY LOVER'S SOUL, WITH AN ACHING IN MY HEART, WHEN THE COLD WIND BLOWS.
Now my feelings is like that, a long long way from home and i misses my lover's soul. Once in a while with an aching in my heart becuz i feels lonely, empty from all the interviews i been to. I really hate it when the way of life play tricks on mi. Really gives me the pain and sores that comes out aftermath.

Soon i will be going for Fuji Xerox interview at 4.15pm today, 29th july 2008. Hope that this one gives me good news.

L; Saturday, July 26, 2008 ♥

My trip to showa denko was like a trip from central of singapore to east or west in the afternoon. set off from boon lay interchange and reached my destination at around 2.30pm. was like, half an hr lo.

Found out that actually, hard disk media, that piece of thing in our HDD was actually manufactured in a clean room environment. which was like, something new to me but the basic pay was okay to me leh. 1.7k. but nvm lar, hoping to get a sales engineering post.

Someone commented on my maturity level over my msn, saying that i am obsessed about Mr L. Actually, my social circle isn't that big. If i always mention about his name, nothing seems wrong to me cuz, he posess a big portion of my life. As in correcting my attitude in all aspects, my outlooks, quite a huge project in life. So more or less his name will come out. AND also, if i mention other names, do u know who is he? No rite? unless u guys are linked, den we will know if not why bother to mention their names?

So to Mr De, why his name always by my mouth is becuz he helped me a lot. Compared to others, yes others did their part too. But his motivation is higher than u guys, i am sorry to say that but still u guys out there are still someone to me. No worries, u guys will still be treated the same, no changes made at the moment. So the maturity levels is you think too high, or am i not moving my friend? Being humble is good, being proud is good, but overdoing of everything is no good. That's why people come out with this philosophy of love.

LUST VS LOYAL/LASTING
OPEN VS OBSESSIVE
VENGENCE VS FORGIVENESS
EVASSIVE VS EMPATHY

So our love for everyone falls in this range. So where do u belong?

Keep the comments running, i would love to hear from you guys...

L; Friday, July 25, 2008 ♥

just now went for an interview with Trio-Tech international located somewhere in braddell. They manager is impressed with my performance but have to bear in mind that there are still people better than me. I still have to work doubly hard to get this place and start learning from there.

So after this interview, which took around an hour, i went to city hall to meet Mr J. So after that went to eat, walk around and chatted a bit while walking around. Den came to know that actually, i am a person who is damn damn damn... u know lar... sometimes can be a pest, sometimes can be a nice man. So which do u think? Of cuz everyone knows the answer.

I am so sorry for being like that. Maybe i execute before i actually spend some thought in what to do with it. I had times where i grab the opportunity too slow, in the end i will lose it. If i grab it too fast, i will like, dunno what to do. Starring at blank space and so on. So now i just sit and watch, till i am ready to pick up this challenge den i pick it up. No more putting in extra thoughts where there is not necessary for me to do it.

So in conclusion, praying hard to get into this company as a sales engineer. and also hope that jayson can get out of his sorrows soon, big bryan not hating him too much together with Mr D. Hope that i have a great weekend ahead.

L; Thursday, July 24, 2008 ♥

For one of the rare times in my 23yrs of living in this world, i've finally encountered someone of my challenge.

Brief description of what i had done.

Went for 2 job interviews, one at AMK, the other one at Macperson Road. So after the 1st interview, i went to meet small bryan, we had dinner at one of the restaurants along boat quay. There after, i walked around suntec area till around 2plus before i head for my next interview.

After the interview, i went to find big bryan for dinner. Den i encountered a new friend and he is like mi. Forever thinking too much, looking at all the recollections of what i had done, be it good or bad. I found out that, actually i am damn disgusted by my actions to my friends. People feels pissed about it and left me one after another. Recently, there times where i almost ruined a lot of things in my own hands. I feel so fed up and dun feel good about such things. So i got to learn how to treasure things that had given me over the yrs. Like strong relationship in friends, love, brothers, family. Nv let them down in anyways or disgust them in any ways. Becuz they will be sad to see me in such a state.

Today is thursday, 24072008, i will be going for another interview for the position of sales engineer. Hopefully i will be recruited to one of the companies.

L; Tuesday, July 22, 2008 ♥

Today is day 2 of the week where i ORD since friday, and now getting ready to go somewhere for something and later will go for some job matching with yi wei aka the then ming quan. And for L, for the time being, we will have our worlds, of cuz is true i agree with it. Especially now, i have no job and u got your work, your gym, your daily routines, i dun think we got the time to meet so. Nvm i juz got to LL suck thumb lo. Who ask me dun play bball, who ask mi to be so lazy. Who ask mi to be over sensitive. Recently my sleep is filled with nightmare, perhaps is my sleeping posture. Din get the correct one, therefore a bit too painful in a sense.

To miss or not to miss, will not be shown anywhere, if he can feels it somehow, i will let him come to mi and not mi going to him now. Cuz no pt doing it... It will creates a sticky effect. So i dun think i will carry on with such a rushing effect. Perhaps i'll juz let both of us have time for some space to breathe. It has been hard on him and mi cuz i have look for a job to sustain my expenses and life. As for him, he need to cope with mi, family, friends and camp... which is 4 to 5 things in 1. So let time deal with him.

THe most minimal thing i request for is juz to hear his voice over the phone, share with him the good and bad things that occured in both of our lives. Exchange, find out some bits in life that looks good to us. So that is call love. Maybe is not realli what i am looking for but no harm trying out as long as not much hurt is formed in this process.

I hope that i can hear positive feedbacks.

L; Monday, July 21, 2008 ♥

Yesterday went to watch the YES 933 concert at IMM, not bad wor... Veri eye opening lo... Watched the whole concert. Starting with Energy-->Milk-->Liu Li Yang-->Yoga-->Lin Yu Zhong-->JJ as the last singer.

The songs can really bring back memories. As in not just the groups alone but feels like i am 4 to 5yrs younger lo... Back to the school days. Wohooo!!! But those were the memories but cannot be replayed or re-enact.

Quote for me in the next few days, Move on with maturity, no pt staying at this pt and waiting for people to pick me up. No pt staying at the same pt waiting for ppl to pick mi up.

Army style, when u do things dun get caught. When u fall, stand up and nv fall back. When mistakes are made, no point finding who is at fault to punish them instead, go learn about how it actually started.

I've learnt about my mistakes but no one appreciates me even though i changed or improved. Yes maybe they are too realistic, which is 75/100 percent. Time to make some proper planning liao. No pt crying over spilled milk.

L; Sunday, July 20, 2008 ♥

13.我願 (中文)

作詞者/星雲大師 作曲者/翁瑋璘 演唱者/翁瑋璘

我願作一盞路燈 照破黑暗 指引光明 我願是一陣和風 吹拂枯槁 撫慰創傷 我願是一支畫筆 彩繪人間 增添美麗 ※我願我身是寬廣的土地 載負眾生離苦難 我願我心是悠悠的海洋 普渡眾生到彼岸(※重覆) (重覆) 我願生生世世 皈依佛 皈依法 皈依僧

May I be in this state relevant to others, closest ones and friends. Hope this lyrics i can be someone of myself and not depending on others. Instead, i would still prefer someone to depend on mi for spiritual support. That is something i will not hesitate to give.







Yes along waiting relationships that needs communication which ends with a breakdown. How i wish that this breakdown is fruitful and indeed is fruitful.

Thinking too much whatever it is, makes mi feels that thinking juz the right amt is enough. And yes, this had reminded mi in work as well. Juz wonder why in almost every part of life this diagram comes in... Venn diagram, and yes 'someone' is correct about this fact, venn diagram where everything comes in a mix and make it well balanced. Wonder why ever since i started trying to open myself out, ends up in such a manner. Either i got the wrong company or the correct company yet scaring them away or even no one dare to come near me. I feels damn bad inside lo. Makes mi feels like an alien, when i am of some value den come look for me. If not i am like a useless piece of shit. It makes mi feels that day but some do view mi this way.

i nid someone to give mi two tight slaps to make mi wake up. it is good to fantasize, who dun like to think about the ideal case for each oneself? When u reached a pt where u think until u go crazy for that thing, i feels that i am someone who has no backbone. Not realistic. Time to be realistic man, no pt being too... Arghz, forget it. Time will show everything again.

What is time? A mathematical definition or what?

Time is a component of a measuring system used to sequence events, to compare the durations of events and the intervals between them, and to quantify the motions of objects. Time has been a major subject of religion, philosophy, and science, but defining time in a non-controversial manner applicable to all fields of study has consistently eluded the greatest scholars.

an extract from wikipedia.

This an issue where overtime, i will overuse of such things. No life with extra time makes someone mad about some things.

Time to get a life for myself, to make myself useful lo. To keep me occupied clear off some old stuffs, bring in new life. Make a new start, just now how days passes by and making my life all comes in place. When going too fast, stop and observe. Too slow, gotta work doubly hard. Yes no pt being too idealistic than realistic.

Do things that is more realistic than idealistic.

Idealistic vs realistic.

Case 1: Things that u wanted to do in your dreams, actual fact u cannot reach this stage or is impossible to do it.
Solution: work doubly hard to attain your motive if not discard and construct new ones. When u got the time and chance u will be able to obtain it.

Case 2: Saying is better than doing it.
Solution: Work more, talk less. Ppl see u work and not to see u talk.

Talk cock sing song play mahjong, all at the same time to give a complete mix? i think so...

Juz finished shower and lots of things awaken mi. Some pts nid to be questioned.

Why is he so impt to mi? Why is he always the one making me wake up my ideas? Why must i fall back when he speaks? why and why?

Is it because i looked back on what i had done and eventually fallen back into this pothole again?
Lack of confidence or simply no backbone? Why i can be more stronger when i was holding my 11B as a NSF but now when got my back pink IC with NSmen status, i become so weak? Lack of the support of juz simply a backbone without a board support or wat?

Think is all in becuz of my mind. Why am i such a stubborn idiot? Fuck it Colin, move back to a place where u are suitable, groom and grow from there. Create a mix like the venn diagram. Everyone got their uniqueness and this uniqueness will nv change. It must be something good to others. And my unique part is not thinking too much, that is a bad pt or root that nids to taken off and nv to revert again. BUT one good thing is that i always make an extra mile to put in some extra effort to do things. Nv to complain of heavy workload but is a place/learning ground to strengthen my abilities as well as relationship. Communications, time, effort tells a lot rather than small parts of life that gives extra problems like breakups, quarrels. No pt right? I know how to say that now why i keep committing it over and over again? Sounds so like noT mi.

BUT i got a motive, a target to start off with. That is the best of me. I shall work towards it as i dun wanna lose it for the last time.

AND I MEAN THIS IS THE LAST TIME!!!!! IF I EVER DO IT AGAIN, THAT'S IT. END OF MY LIFE FOR LOVE.... SHALL BE AT MOST A BACHELOR UP TO THE AGE OF 35 DEN GOT A WIFE OR NO WIFE STILL... WE SHALL SEE, TIME WILL PROVE MY EFFORT.

TIME+EFFORT=RESULTS...

FINAL STAGE TO PERFORM. NO MORE CHANCE GIVEN BOI!!! TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT COLIN, DECISION IS IN YOUR OWN HANDS.

L; Saturday, July 19, 2008 ♥

Today is a Friday, juz like any other days but is my ORD Date..... Got back my pink IC which was deposited in SAF since 2006, 21st July, Friday approximately 2pm. Location: Pulau Tekong. Got back from SAFAC Orderly Room. The feeling was nothing special. Seeing or not seeing makes no difference. Only diff is that, our allowance from SAF is already cut off le. So meaning i have work ASAP as i have no money left le... Feel like requesting a bit more from my mother to sustain my current allowance. Should have made investments earlier.

Still thinking of that special someone. Though his heart, his voice or even his words on msn is not far from mi. but i still misses him like how he wanna be with mi for juz over the weekends last time. He is one and only so far that i will listen to as far as possible. No one's comment can worth as much as him. Besides ppl in my religious life that can help mi quite a bit. or else i wun get anything useful de lo.

Is this what ppl call love? Loving him is like loving myself. only diff is that i dun save that kinda much money now. Which is driving me crazy le... no money to use liao lo... Hope can dio 4D at least can last me for some time...

L; Thursday, July 17, 2008 ♥

Finally pass my practical test for Class 3 license le... YEAH!!! although is a border line pass but will try to be a safety driver in future...

Been thinking a lot for the past few days. Recalled back what i been thru last time. I find that actually someone is waiting for mi someday, worried about mi, my well being as well as my love life. Tmr ORD lo... yeah!! waiting for it for a long time liao lo...

Got lots to blog but i think is good to keep it to myself rather than to outside...

L; Tuesday, July 15, 2008 ♥

Thanks jeffrey for his precious comments. I indeed gained a bit of awakening thoughts from that. Cuz i got another solution. But is a bit too early to state somethings, cuz mi and him a stronger or closer than brothers. In fact long ago, i treated him like brothers, i mean blood brothers. We opened up further till a stage where people see it as "abnormal" but actually, it is still a stage of opening up as well as knowing each other. He is a guy, who can be a brother, bf to gals as well as... u know it yourself, and a family guy. SO no worries that i will wander too far off. As i always say, i wanna get married one hor!!!! at least a son or better one son one daughter k?

Den today went for interview with Quest-Technology, a company which offers industrial solutions. I make a personal presentation for about half and hour with the combination of Q&A from them. Is like some kinda 3rd meeting during RP days, really is a test to my knowledge in this line. But an eye opening to this job.

Hopefully can get in because it may be a good learning ground to be.

My guts feelings tell me that the more i misses or think about him, the more i will lose him. Cuz it really telling me that i will pissed him off... and make him hate me lo. I dun wish to do that to him actually. Yes i do love him as a what, he himself will know people around mi will see how it is also. I dun wanna make him hate me or not. All i know is that i love him till i now can go crazy because of him. From this limit, yes it shows that i am very particular of his well being, how he look at mi as well as what he do to mi. But i have to prevent or refrain myself from doing it again.

It hurts when he says he hates mi for something. I am feel damn hurt when he dun reply or talk to me becuz of certain thing. I feels damn frustrated, want to cry yet the tears have flowed deep down to my heart and down my cheeks. Heart is feeling damn pain and empty too.




After talking to him, i found out that, my feelings for L has nv changed since. Actually, be both suffered a lot and cared a lot for each other. He mentioned that he is like a book left on the bookshelf, when i need him it, i will bring it down and use it, when not in the need of the book, i placed it back on the shelf. But i replied him, if i dun bother about u, what for i take u off the shelf and use it? Might as well leave it on the shelf and let u collect dust wat. But actually, i kinda miss his presence. His words worth slightly more than my other 5 brothers do. So bros, all your effort still mean something to me, but his worth slight more valuable than u guys, hope u all do mind. Realli sorry to be in this state, ZHEN SHI DUI BU QI NI MEN AH!!!!

I was thinking of asking him to move over with me, if i have extra room cuz he is the only son in the family with 2 younger sisters. Currently like me, no personal room, so feel like asking him to shift in with mi since my mother knows that i took him as a brother 4yrs back but din know that i actually cared so much for him. Yet i din know that he also cared for me.

That was sunday's talk.

Monday.

Went for 1 interview at Jalan Besar. Hope to get into this company cuz it is a concept of my ideal office as well as things related to my project. Hope to work in this industry. 2 more to go on tuesday and hope to get good news from them.

Den went out with jeffrey when i just stepped into my home, on my com and logged on the net. I dun intend to go out but since the night is still quite young just now, so went out from vivo all the way to west coast park macdonalds. So chatted a fair bit and set out for home at around 11.30pm. Still manage to catch the last bus so i save a bit on cab fare.

L; Sunday, July 13, 2008 ♥

Perhaps is my retribution bah... Cuz I GENNA PANG SEH BY "SOMEONE" AGAIN!!! supposed to go out with him or hang around his hse nia. End up he called me say he eating with his parents. Okay, family guy, shld do that, no objections. Den he say he too full, so suggested going to his hse. Den he say, oh my sisters at home, so cannot. Okay den nvm, thought of going for movie, den he say he leg pain. Okay fair enough, den he say he going for bball. Fair enough, suck thumb lo... Who ask me always do this things on him last time, now return plus interests somehow... how many percent interests? perhaps 5% to 50% interests rate cuz i owe him too much liao. So i jolly well know what to payback with as well as the limitations from mi to him also....

So now do what? Slack and stone in front of my com lo...




My love will get you home - Christina Glass

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.



For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
Ill be forever thankful baby
Youre the one who held me up
Never let me fall
Youre the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
Im grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I dont know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
Youve been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

Im everything I am
Because you loved me

1230am of 13072008, yes i am living 21st century. Definitely cuz is 2008. shld be in this century for 8yrs le... yet i am like... haiz, dun say le, shld forget it man...

Okay lar, saturday, passed relatively normal juz lack of some entertainment. Cuz suppose to go out with L, but he last min cropped up by his work at office, so go back to his office in camp and finish up the work, so mi went to bukit merah for lunch den go vivo for some changes in my cable tv plans. Even though i upsized my plans, but both digital boxes are hogged by my family. So there is no way i can use it. So i hogged my com instead, cuz no one is fighting it from me ma.

Hogged and chat and surfed. End up not much ppl is online... Haiz, den thought a lot as well as eaten a lot jus now. Thinking of what i wrote in my nick," 好看的一大班，知心/忠心有几位。。。？" so that is something i wrote since last night and this inspiration gave me since yesterday afternoon.

For those who can't read these characters of don't know chinese, this is the translation.

"Attractive ones comes in groups, but among these groups, how many of them are intimate and loyal to us?"

Really something reflective in my mind at the pt of time. Because plenty of pretty, cute, avg looking, good looking, handsome ones yet among them, how many of them will stop and say hi to me, chat with me, care for me? Guess is 1 in a 1,000,000.


And now, wanna find someone to talk, is there anyone for me to talk to. Shoulder for me to support and also a hand to hold on to when i am sinking into something bad. A hand to pull me out when i am in sorrows, this one is not to help mi financially, cuz i will try to solve all my work problems personally without much help from around me.

Hopefully that the next day when the sun rises will be a better day, as the number jumps every second, minute, hour, day, month and year, would be a better stage for me. Yes time to move on one step at a time everyday, just be mindful on what i had done and he firm on what i am doing. Seriously speaking, no one is there to spoon feed me le, except for love. I want to be showered with love as well as shower people with love too.

Brand new day with a start better than the day before. Brand new year will have a better performance of the previous year. Brand new generation will have a better living than their seniors or elders.

So look ahead and nv fall back but do look back on what u had done as not to commit the same mistake again.

L; Thursday, July 10, 2008 ♥

3 days since i last blogged. Actually, not that i dun wanna blog is that i veri lazy and dunno what to blog.

These 3 days, been online searching for jobs for the time being. Meanwhile, i found out that it may be good for me to work as sales engineer first for the time being. As time passes, by den i can juz decide to go on hardware or business instead.


So for the moment, i have 2 interviews tmr and 1 on monday. And sadly, i found out that in this world, nothing is lasting and true to my heart. And for some reason, that i see things clearly when i am above the age of 21. Yes, L, thx for advising me to move on the other day when i recall what we chatted the other time. I should not stay at this stage anymore but to carry on. To know what kinda love i give to everyone. Time and effort will tells the truth and the truth is within each others' heart. They will know what is it and what has been done will be done. No pt crying over spilled milk but not to let it happened again.

So whatever i do now, nv go back to the same mistake, but do look back for what u had already done. Not to redo those mistakes as well as learn how to tackle future upcoming mistakes too.

Hopefully that tomorrow's interview can be better. I dun wish to see things happening in such a manner that even in august, nothing works.

As to some ppl out there, dun you come mess around with mi... I dun take that kinda things okay... and i already had enough of such things liao. U know what is it, so dun come crying or pushing the blames to me. I had make things clearly liao.

The above statements applies to everybody in general. U guys know yourself well. Those who are cleared by nature, need not worries, u guys dun really exist in my list. Those who know themselves, if u keep mi in the dark, by all means carry on by not letting me know. I feels better with that. For those who already made known to me, i feels that, it is time to do something for not making myself fall deep. BUt thanks for your lessons given, i learned a lot form that.

L; Monday, July 07, 2008 ♥

To Everything there is a season

There was a time when you loved, there came a time when you hated.

There was a time when you felt you wanted to kill, now is the time for you to heal.

There was a time you were broken down, now is the time to build yourself up.

There was a time when you were at war in your being, now is the time to restore peace within.

 

This is something i extracted from the posts on the verdict of CPL Dave Teo's Case. The judge recited this which i find that it is relevant to our lifestyles.

 

back to my life. i had a very fruitful interview with AME GM and also HR. Veri nice yet veri depressing. but nvm, take it as a form of experience and lessons learnt.  Frm there i found out that, actually my path is to go with sales. As i got an engineering diploma, elective module was sales management. why not go into it right?

 

Personal life. Feeling better over Mr L... sorri, not that L on my page k.

This L, he knows who he is, he is someone i know for yrs le... and someone still there for mi. A god didi that still takes mi as his korkor or even more than a korkor. Thx for letting me have this feeling, yet i recalled what i did in the past. I am really sorry. I should have placed them in the first place and forgotten how u feel. I'm really appreciate of what u had done. Thx L for what u had done. But i promise that i will try to minimize what is hurting for u as far as possible. Perhaps... I... juz keep most of the things to myself instead of putting it here.

 

Note to some, there sometimes as mentioned by my geog teacher yrs back. It is best to keep things in the dark at times.

 

Those who knows, pls give mi some face by keep it controlled. Even if it is true. Please try not to spread it in a bad way thx.

L; Thursday, July 03, 2008 ♥

The time now is 0127 hr... yet i am not in bed and rest till tml morning for camp... will i be able to wake up and go camp on time?

Today is about more than a week of the tragedy that happened to me. Till now, i think it is a good learning point in life of how i should sell myself out to others who are new to me. Be it they are guys, gals, lesbians, gays or whoever u are. Aunties, uncles, boys and gals... I think it is the time how i show my 1st impression to them.

There are many kinds of friends in this world till date that i had discovered. There are friends or brothers like yuan, vincent, desmond, keong, jeffrey and patrick. Close pals like lester and many more. of cuz the sisters, not that kinda sisters but the gf or wife of some guys mentioned above. They taught me how to tackle and understand gals at times. I should be fortunate that i have such people around me.

For those people who comes and goes without leaving a note for me to know, Guess i know what happened, and what i had done. No point apologising cuz u guys will think that such formalities are juz for show. I think so too, cuz u people are just too plastic to me. Come in and fuck and spit and leave a scar. But thanks lo... such scars are meant for me to learn from mistakes rite? Guess such mistakes i must bear in mind and not to let it happened again.

like what i told bernard. 1st time, is a testing phase... 2nd time is a learning phase... 3rd time is till to buck up and nv let it happen again... 4th time and above still the same.. think u are a person who cannot make it le... I hope that it has not reached the stage where there is no cure for me. I will definitely find a cure and be better than u guys in someways to excel myself..

U GUYS WHO ONCE LOOKED DOWN ON ME... I'LL BE SURE THAT I DO SOMETHING BETTER THAN U GUYS AND MAKE U GUYS LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF...!!!!

L; About me and L♥

;Voiced by: Kappei Yamaguchi. L is the world's top-rated detective, tasked with tracking down and arresting Kira. His disheveled appearance masks his great powers of deduction and insight. L has many quirks, such as sitting in an odd manner and snacking on sweets in the middle of meetings.

hate me;

Colin Loh, a guy borned onto this land called Singapore on 28 October 1985.
Can visit *HERE*
ORD LIAO LO....CLICK HERE :C

i DIGS & i HEARTS ♥L;

♥For me to know for you to find out.
♥My wanted mate/partner to find out.
♥see who can help clear the mess with mi FOREVER...
♥Buddha of all directions together with all bodhisattva.

IN DEMAND. L;♥loner's LOVES.

♥i like to do what a normal guy out there like to do..
♥i love the feeling with guys and gals, does it makes mi a gay a bi or str8?? ♥i like eeu u you and U... ♥everything....

write here; on the notebook L; ♥

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DON'T RUNAWAY
from the DEATHNOTE♥

*Sanz*
*Andrew Hui*
*X-avier weixiang*
* Edmund aka Edamuse*
* Max Zechariah Leong*
* Harry Lim W J*
* Grey Ng*
* Andrew Junbi*
* Jeffrey Lim Kok Keong*

DEATHS; never un'L' me.

{L; 07/2004 - 08/2004 ♥}
{L; 08/2004 - 09/2004 ♥}
{L; 09/2004 - 10/2004 ♥}
{L; 11/2004 - 12/2004 ♥}
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credits: PuiLing; L♥ {INKPUPPET}
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