L; Tuesday, May 16, 2006 ♥
2 yrs back, i got something for him but nv dared to say it to him... but 2 yrs later, i gave it to him... But i nv say anything much, may it be juz a fill for mi to walk a longer distance or something else bah. I really hope that i can have the courage to be like toshiyaki and ricky, colin and kero to be so courageous and also loving among themselves.
I dun deny that i still like guys, but i think is a some sort of grown within me, my hormones or genes are grown with it. It can't be helped but i am trying hard to maintain it as a bi... I chose to be discreet but sooner or later lots of ppl will came to know that. i dun deny that i still like lester, almost got the urge to take him as my dear, but i am not financially reach, i dun have a place for him to stay over at my house, i realli scared that i cannot give out that kinda much for him. Even he dun mind but i mind becuz i dun want him to suffer, though he got his hopes and ambitions and wishes lar. I hope that he can be mine. See i am dreaming again.
2yrs ago in 2004 when i juz know him, i got the same feelings. 2006, 2yrs later at the similar timing, i met him and we done something further but i juz could not accept the fact that i am a bi again. I thought that even i am a bi, my ratio between gals and guys is 7:3. But end up no lo... think of my parents, i think gonna be so in deep grief if i am realli a gay for the next 10yrs, i will be having a big problem becuz i am THE ONLY CHILD and i am a son not a daughter... at least got the least responsibilities to take care of them and respect them. I realli nid to get someone to talk to, maybe visit the venerable at my temple asap before my mind jumbles again...
don't you dare un'L' me.
never.
rooting for
DEATHNOTE no matter what.
look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Tuesday, May 16, 2006]
