L; Friday, June 30, 2006 ♥
so boring, how abt come another entry???
I recently find that i got not much things happening around mi, but actually yes, juz that i kept it low....
this happens during my staff fund function... i realli like it alot lo... how i wish that it happens more frequently as in i can hug the person i like, all the time or most of the time lar... i realli hopes that it happens lar... i wanted to enjoy the warmth of a person...
The thing that i am still confused is that i enjoy huggings, i like hugs, but i dunno what kinda hugs and the motive in it is what...
But for sure is that, i gotta hug this guy i wish to know for a long time le... hope that this will be a memorable nite for us...
How i wish i realli could have a chance to get myself attached with the gender the one and only that i prefer... I had enuff of going round and round in this darkness.... I am feeling sour in my heart why typing this entry... When looking at the things i done, i find that i am happy for that, but the happiness is for that moment of time only.... I want it to follow mi with such happiness for a lifetime, at least for this lifetime if i am not that greedy...
That is sandy, she is a nice lady, she is my supervisor when i am working in ntuc... we used to talk a lot, she can get along easily.... How i wish i am older than her where i can go chase after her.... If i am not that high class of her size, i will be chasing her liao.... but too bad, she is older than mi and she prefer older guys and she treats mi like a little bro, so what to do??? so freak off for mi and drop that idea....
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Next up is for today's, i went out for lunch and came back home, preparing to go out with my father for his friend's daughter wedding dinner... okay fair enuff, i saw a few guys i wanna know but dun dare to ask becuz they are the waiter, den i was thinking, am i siding that kid or wat, my father and those uncles wanna scold him, yet i kept quiet and look at him doing work....
I find that i am losing control again, i like the feeling of being with guys and den i saw the couple, the sista and her husband, the dinner look so okay lo... so so lo... but den i emotions fluctuates again... I feeling like crying lo, i see pics of 2 guys together so loving, den i see ppl of one family, so united and so caring for the childrens i wanna hae that.... I feeling like crying when my heart is so sour... i wanna cry out, but hard to, not even a single weep that i can weep out...even in one corner i wanna cry out also cannot.... i tell ppl not to cry over small things yet i am the one crying...... I wanna know what is going on in mi i nid a solution....
Love is what i seek for but i dare not face it... wonder why i dun dare to face it when i wish to have it.... scared that i will lose it if i dun treasure it??? haiz.... think carry on later bah....
don't you dare un'L' me.
never.
rooting for
DEATHNOTE no matter what.
look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Friday, June 30, 2006]
