i still love u, no matter how bad you treat mi. U told mi that i will naturally present my attractive side if i change with WHAT I REALLY WANT NOW. I always have this thinking, a wish i always wanna fulfill. and that is in this life, no matter how many of them come in and out of my life, u will still be the one and only, first and last man to survive in my world before i actually move out of that planet.
I know i may be naive to say that, but hopefully this perseverance in me can help me think.
Recently i found my new hobby and that is to go slightly in to car racing. Hopefully this can take up to 20% of my time and create a certain awareness or interests in it. so that i can forget certain things in mi. faith wise had given a plus pt cuz certain teachings co-relates each other, so no issue for mi to go fight against that.
To think about my strengths and weaknesses has always in the way.
30 september 2008, 1122hrs weather is relatively fair.
Was thinking over what had happened last night. Yes, the scoldings all is right, neither will i admit defeat nor will admit victory cuz i din win anything that i can be proud of.
The thing(s) i wanted in the past has lots of road blocks till i am scared it made mi so inferior to move on. YES, i dun know what i want. I may lose a lot of friends or can cause me to be so anti-social in near future.
That biggest qn in mind is how to bring out the natural attractiveness in me out to people i face everyday. All the factors that i can think of are, manners, actions, words, voice, body language and lastly eye contact. I have to curb the biggest problems now, manners and words. These are the most problematic ones. How shld i go about, i wun say in details. But i am juz sharing parts of it.
don't you dare un'L' me. never. rooting for DEATHNOTE no matter what. look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Tuesday, September 30, 2008]
L; Monday, September 29, 2008 ♥
What's the point in crying? When all you get is tears What's the use of trying? When all that's left are fears
Where's the hope in wishing? When your cries they do not hear Where's the joy in drinking? When all you have is beer
What's the goal in loving? When all love brings is hate
Where's the thrill of living? When everything's up to fate
What's the point of hanging on? When she hears, but does not speak There's nothing left, her heart is gone The future looks so bleak
What's the use of playing? When all you do is lose This is all I'm saying I hope you get the clues
081203
Credits go to Eugene Teo, PLAD camp mate
I got this from his facebook and somehow it hits my mind once again, anyway, watched F1 just now... got some edited video and will try to upload by tmr. did went to motorshow with keong and also when we are abt to leave, we heard the sounds of the engine, so we stayed and watched the show slightly.
The sounds of the cars are deafening but it somehow blast away my bad emotions for a while. which is good.
don't you dare un'L' me. never. rooting for DEATHNOTE no matter what. look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Monday, September 29, 2008]
L; Saturday, September 27, 2008 ♥
Superly boring on a saturday's afternoon. sometimes is good to make extra plans just in case one cannot work after another. now still thinking what can make mi feels more energetic lo. More like a life that suits my category now.
Conclusion for now. Without that person in my life that makes mi feels more powerful, i still have to move on. I have to be strong to take up more challenges in life, if not i will like a tortoise that stays far behind, but if i am like the rabbit, run so far, yet nv carry on going will soon lose behind a tortoise who constantly moving on in life.
moral of the story for tortoise and rabbit. contantly move on and nv give up. once u slacken down, u will lose behind the slowest guy who is juz about 1 to 2km behind or 100 to 200m ahead of u.
so end of story? nope, juz the starting. hopefully got a better one in the next entry.
don't you dare un'L' me. never. rooting for DEATHNOTE no matter what. look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Saturday, September 27, 2008]
L; Wednesday, September 24, 2008 ♥
this is a song that i would listen and then later regret myself for not treasuring something. i am sure that some people will ask the same qn when they had lost someone important to them. I am still thinking of somethings in life. In life, nothing is ever perfect.
I hope that this shadow will remain as a shadow for now. i dun wanna bring him into the picture, he makes mi feels more painful. The way he treats mi feels so painful lo... i may say that i had enough but i still wants him more as what? This one i am still asking and getting the hell out of it...
don't you dare un'L' me. never. rooting for DEATHNOTE no matter what. look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Wednesday, September 24, 2008]
L; Sunday, September 14, 2008 ♥
Yes, another week had juz passed quietly. In juz one day, i had spent over 500 dollars yesterday. But all on bills and of cuz money to my parents. Makan and entertainment juz for common saturday afternoon till night.
Been emoing again but it is unavoidable when my sense of jealous, sense of envy, sense of loneliness comes in action. It is like greed hatred and delusions which comes in a group and attacks when u are least aware of their presence.
Certain things i still unable to let go or forget. No matter what i will try my best to forget, prayers, blessings and chantings will still carry on as per normal for mi and hoping that each day would have pleasant surprises for my relationships.. i am looking forward for the pleasant ones. I have no choice but to leave the old sets of thoughts and further enhance them. No pt staying here where people are moving towards 3.5 where i am still at 2? Hoping that certain things i want will happen.
don't you dare un'L' me. never. rooting for DEATHNOTE no matter what. look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Sunday, September 14, 2008]
L; Friday, September 05, 2008 ♥
So far work had narrowed down my crave for certain things, i juz hope that i can learn more things so that i got all my time and equip myself with these skills as well as communications purposes. In front of certain friends, i feel so normal but in front of another group of friends i seems to disgracing myself and indeed i had been disgracing a lot of myself in front of certain groups of friends. But when come to meeting up with a new friend of mine last friday, i feels so perfectly normal to them.
Yah, actually i had finally made a first step out by keeping myself quiet to observe and also to listen what other people wanna say instead of always trying to put in extra advice or looking for a chance to express my concerns or views to them where they dun even want to appreciate you in the first place or wanna listen to my craps. Yes indeed such people existed, but why am i always going against ways where i should spend more time for people who cherish and concerned abt me?
Being too religious is not suppose to my MY WAY of doing things but actually that is a a thing i always look or focus into but too bad lar. I am juz too traditional minded at times. The flexibility sometimes giving me headaches lar. But nvm, as long as i am happy and people are happy with mi can le. I dun wish to cause unhappiness to people cuz if i want to be happy, people must be happy too. They happy i happy. Oh God, what am i talking abt sia... Lolz muz be talking to the wall bah.
Anyway, tmr will be my second time going to New Creation Church, the approach is rather different, i juz love the culture but so sad to say that i got my own faith, but that does not mean i dun believe or welcome their mindsets k. Please diversity of all faith, religions and belief is my kinda practice, what comes to mi will be accepted in open arms.
don't you dare un'L' me. never. rooting for DEATHNOTE no matter what. look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Friday, September 05, 2008]
L; About me and L♥
;Voiced by: Kappei Yamaguchi. L is the world's top-rated detective, tasked with tracking down and arresting Kira. His disheveled appearance masks his great powers of deduction and insight. L has many quirks, such as sitting in an odd manner and snacking on sweets in the middle of meetings.
hate me;
Colin Loh, a guy borned onto this land called Singapore on 28 October 1985.
Can visit *HERE*
ORD LIAO LO....CLICK HERE :C
i DIGS & i HEARTS ♥L;
♥For me to know for you to find out.
♥My wanted mate/partner to find out.
♥see who can help clear the mess with mi FOREVER...
♥Buddha of all directions together with all bodhisattva.
IN DEMAND. L;♥loner's LOVES.
♥i like to do what a normal guy out there like to do..
♥i love the feeling with guys and gals, does it makes mi a gay a bi or str8??
♥i like eeu u you and U...
♥everything....
