L; Tuesday, December 16, 2008 ♥
At this time of the night, most people are snoring their way to lala land, while i am still struggling a way out to sleep. Why? in my mind i have a few thoughts.
Juz now i went to visit my godma in hospital, who is my grandaunt in the past now my godma. SO at the same time i met my cousin. She was asking if i got a gf, den i told her, i dun have gf, waiting for u to intro mi. Den she say, mine are too old for u le lar....
Den i tell her, u muz be glad that i din find myself a bf. SHe say, dun make your mother sad leh. I was thinking, which is my true self? gay bi or straight
i am now plainly a confused guy out in the air, now a confused wondering if in future am i still a confused guy? my answer is a yes and a no. No as in i am not a confused guy but yes to i know so much but still i dunno which i belong to or wanna go.
Haiz... enough of such tragedy, think i had enough of it le lar.. hopefully 2009 is not as bad as 2008 although i got a veri strong feeling that things will re-enact once again in 2009.
Theme for this post: Are u the giving party or receiving party?
Recently i have received lots and lots of lectures, sermons or even dharma talks about this topic. So i had been the giving out party which result myself in getting hurt. Actually not really hurt or scars lar. juz on a positive pt of view, it is something i have to pick up as i walk along this path towards end of life pace.
End of life is where everything comes to an end, an ending that will embrace all memories into your head.
Like a very recently notice of some guy who juz passed away. When i went thru further, it happens that i had browse thru his facebook or friendster few mths back. As i went thru further, he seems to leave a very good impression as a benchmark in everybody that he knows or get in contact and now. He is gone, but i think he had left behind a fruitful memries to all his friends.
I may feel sad for his parents, his life in this world to be so short, but i won't feel sad for his memories left behind. I wish to be like him, who is someone who leaves behind a glamourous picture for his friends. May u guys carry on his life in this world with all the memories, so that his pureland will be built for u guys alternatively with good blessings for them.
Mr Dwayne, i may not know u directly but i do know that u are one of RP students same back as mi. I saw u a few times i did browse thru your friendster. Though life is short but i do hope that there is one wish i hope to fulfill in this life. That is to create a paradise of bliss in this life so that i can be happy with the people i know i want to be with and friends that i know from monastries, temple or churches. Good pals that guided me along the way. I dun wish to lose them in any form. To u, i wish to know u in paradise. Land of bliss, i'm sure u already found your way there. 49 days, bear with it. It will be over soon. I will meet u there some day... Dharma buddies lifetime after lifetime, can it be done?
don't you dare un'L' me.
never.
rooting for
DEATHNOTE no matter what.
look at that 'L'ly smile.♥
[Tuesday, December 16, 2008]
